April 06, 2016


sometimes i feel, sometimes i dont.
sometimes i think about you for hours, sometimes i dont.
sometimes i miss every second of your smile, your face, your wonderful ways
and sometimes i hate you..

December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014.

so 2014's almost done. nope i didnt get married, no babies, and i didnt win the lottery LOL but there were lots of incredible moments worth remembering and celebrating. i think i have grown slightly wiser over last year, defo seeing things more clearly. i fostered new friendships, took more chances that i promised i would this time last year. disconnected with some along the way too, i guess that is life.

managed to take a trip to europe for the first time as well, took me some time to save up for it and it was totally worth it. im not as fortunate to get chances to travel as a kid, or even right now since i''m working full time, fucking hard to cough out money on my own too since i've got $28k school fees to pay for on my own, so it meant a lot to me. went to old trafford for the first time, kissed my boy right under the eiffel tower, had a fair share of gastronomical adventures in the city of love. also met minh for the first time, i first met him five years back on chatroulette, i know lol it's fucking crazy. i also took a trip to phnom penh to meet pauline, yes that's another first time, another crazy ride too. amen to spontaneity! i applaud myself for being brave, she's an online friend and everyone told me to be careful but i trusted my intuition and we had some fun times together. summer was great. it was the worldcup period, what a great tournament! i watched every single matches even if i've got work the next day, and i got closer w sean's friends, as well as my uni mates since we meet up for drinks and matches almost every other day. also ended a year long LDR and have sean back to me, we went through a lot. never thought i'm able to do this long distance shit, but i did.

the second part of the year wasnt as interesting, i was so caught up with both work and school. have to repeat again for the countless time, it's so damn tough to juggle between a full time job, part time studies, and of course, i still have a god damn life and i'm not allowing these circumstances to cut me out from my social life. meeting people and interacting with people, even if it's the most random conversations, keeps me sane from the daily shit i experience at work. so that's necessary. got a change of colleague as well, no complaints! she's the best. there were some point of time i hated my work so bad (mostly because my boss has been so difficult, and yes fucking full of shit ffs) turned things around, instead of hating on my boss... the boss has just left the company, so i guess things are indeed going my way, or rather we should all believe in karma because karma fucking bites. once again, another living proof. well, and also, thank god that my results at school are actually not too shabby.

i love december - it's my birthday month and also, it's the season of giving(and gifting) the last days have been relaxing and rather rejuvenating. been using some lie-down time over the long weekend to think about life, again. because it's always good to remind ourselves what we want and what we need to do to achieve them. i knew all along that i dont want an ordinary life - and i have to get this nailed on my head. all over. it's a horrid cycle to have that constant self defeating internal dialogues in my head sometimes, telling myself "i can never be this or that", "i can never afford this or that" lolll am i stupid or what? that's immediate sucide. definitely need to learn how to manage these thoughts in the coming year. i know im just human, but i also have big dreams. as i mentioned in my previous posts, i hope i'm able to figure my passion and bring out what's best in me to the world, because i believe i can.

also, i have been thinking about this constantly. i love traveling even though i only started traveling in 2008, i mentioned earlier that my parents were not able to take me on travels, obviously due to financial reasons. but i know instead of being all jelly that my friends are able to travel as a kid or have their trip funded by parents, i need to work hard for it and make it happen. which i did. all my trips are entirely self-funded. i'm planning to travel around the world across a few continents after graduation and all that, coming july. that one crazy baller trip. i know it sounds crazy but that is my priority now and i'll work hard for it, i want it so badly more than anything else in the world. this is right on top.

i'm excited for what's coming ahead.
bring on 2015. i'm fucking ready kick some goals.

December 29, 2014

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

i've got some photos from christmas celebrations this year to share (all snapped w the iPhone6):

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1. the one and only santa hat knitted by momsy. love handmade stuff, especially made by her.
2. i picked this place for xmas eve dinner w sean's fam. this is nosh!
3. such a praiseworthy meal, alchristmasy as well. in case i dont have time to do a seperate post, here's what went down my tummy if you're interested:
SOUP roasted pumpkin soup and french onion soup w bread gratin 
APPETIZER cod brandade. salted cod w potato and baguette. 
APPETIZER crab cakes 
MAINS turkey breast w mushroom bread pudding (so good btw) cranberry chutney, and roasted winter veg. 
DESSERT christmas pudding, with eggnog, lots of raisons and cinnamon. 
and yes, i ate all of them lol i told ya i can eat.

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4. sights from the christmas market at gardens by the bay. lovely atmosphere that is.
5. the spalliera. luminaries made and flown in from italy. so delicate.
6. lovin' the winter wonderland, here you see a bunch of people singing christmas carols.
7. btw these crown of lights' 17m tall! wowsome isnt it? easily the prettiest christmas display i've seen this year.

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8. hung out w my favorite ladies for gift exchange! always a joy to meet up with this noisy bunch.
9. another gift exchange sesh w sean's mates, tian got me something extremely useful!
10. w my sista at the alley, possibly the last time i'll see her before she leaves for spain.

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11. steamboat at marcus's! not sure if it's christmas or chinese new year hahahahaha
12. so that's our first christmas gathering! so thankful for them as my uni mates.

December 15, 2014

Everywhere you go, always take De Gea with you,

december has and will always be my favorite month of the year, except for the fact that i've got papers to sit for. thankfully it will be the last time ever i'll face exams in decemeber since i'll be done with school next july. lovely! hopefully i'll update this space with some happy photos soon, this space has been flooded with videos and all that stuff. (see how boring i person i've became?!)

went on missing for a bit as my laptop crashed, it was quite unfortunate. all the money i've saved for some wants and for my upcoming trip has went down to nothing again after purchasing a replacement laptop. needless to say, saving money was my key priority - took up a couple of event jobs and shitz, it was fucking tiring, really. juggling between a full time job, attending night classes, and now additional jobs. i dont know how, but i did it. and i've got the money i needed.

obvs the highlight last night was.... #mufc six straight wins! big dave was the difference, invincible. saving asses again and again. what would we do without de gea? no other words to describe his incredible form, the one on one saves were fantaze. take a bow ddg you're jesus. here's van persie summing up every fans feels on de gea's performance with one look:

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December 10, 2014


trying to force life to unfold faster than it is meant to is futile.

November 07, 2014


rumour has it the aussie bro can do no wrong. i need to see this man live.

November 04, 2014

Lack of passion is fatal.

i posted this quote on my ig a while ago, which was exactly what's going on w my life right now. no aim, no fire, and obviously i'm not satisfied with how i'm living my life right now. "go find your passion", "do it with passion or not at all" - two quotes that i come across so damn often but how do i even when i cant find that burning passion??! this shit has been pressurizing me and the irony is that passion should be a motivation instead of pressure. that's what i know at least. in the context of both work and school, i find myself stuck in this long term game of trial and error. defo not the best person to give any career advice at the moment because i'm basically spending majority of my waking hours working for people i dont like, a company that i dont care about and of course doing things i dont even enjoy. will still continue my education, i've got less than a year to go, so i literally dont have a choice. been slogging at work so hard just to fund my school fees so i wont be that dumb to quit, btw i dont quit things easily either. i always have huge aspirations about myself, i believe i can do more than just all of this shit work i'm doing right now. in my twenties, yet still trying to figure what i am put on this planet to do. i'm probably taking way too long than i should. i swear, when i find it, no matter what it is - i'm damn prepared to chase after it hard and go do it with all fierceness. i need to find that enthusiasm and what exactly keeps me awake and gets me up every morning, instead of drowning into misery and feeling unfulfilled about every damn thing - that's unhealthy. not gonna fall short in my expectations for myself. never. this is my life and i'm the only one in control of it, right? i hope i'll be able to discover the beauty of life again, and eventually build a life worth living.

"Life is going to throw you some major shit – so hold on. 
Keep your head above the water."

October 11, 2014

Won't you be my sunshine?

come on waste of all my precious time, your sweet smile is always on my mind, won't you be my sunshine?

thankyou spotify, thankyou fifa15 playlist. heard this one few weeks ago when i was shopping alone at h&m, oh baby loveeeee it so much i was dancing in front of the mirror i dont care, yay now i found chuuuu!!!

i've obvs lose the blogging momentum and i'm just trying to figure out this whole blogging thing again. i wont sell myself out but i do feel like just deleting a whole part of my life online, away. just like my instagram, i've removed about 200+ photos altogether gradually. i take really ugly photos, why the fuck did i post them up?! can never understand myself. can never be satisfied. but i still need a site of my own though, so i probably have to tidy up this space after my exams next week. i hate to say this, but i have to do it again: #fuckwork!!!!

Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.

October 02, 2014

Kid smoking experiment

i'm fine with smoking but this was pretty good. people actually realise how bad smoking is for them, but well it's an addiction for a reason. for those who just wanted to get free pack of cigs, "matter of fact let me have those" lol good for you.

September 23, 2014


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dined at paddington house of pancakes sometime back, had the OSLO which is smoked salmon scrambled eggs and mashed potato pancakes - super filling....... needless to say i only managed to clear them eggs and smoked salmon. we shared the minnesota (flapjacks) as well as the belgium style fries and wedges which was pretty awesome. love the quote hanging on the walls, which is one of my all time goals.

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PPP aka pre penang planning w shwen at november 8. mediocre waffles but defo great place to chill. shall upload some penang wall murals and snaps when i have the time.

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panjang people understands. the famous kkm a.k.a ke kou mian. the soup... holy. just something special about these instant noos. hehe dined w my fake cap americaaa, but ily ily ily.

so last week, i decided to sit for my first ever work related exam. i know people working in the bank and the financial industry have to take lots of papers and that's not something new, but well i procrastinated for one entire year, so i count it as a small achievement. somehow. okay, at least to make myself feel a little bit more awesome LOL. it was actually quite alright, surprisingly, given that i have no related knowledge at all. i probably should take more papers, who knows they might help me in the future.