November 08, 2010

@seanlokey

'come to me,' he said. he tugged me closer, and gave me a really tight hug, i'm pretty sure he's the only one, okay other than my mom, who've seen this side of me, my most vulnerable side. i broke down, i didnt want to say why because i feel embarrassed. it's so amazing how he could read me so well, he knew exactly what i was thinking about. i wasnt contented w my life, and i have so many issues and uncertainties, about studies, love, money especially when im so fucking poor, and that im useless. the list goes on, this and that. i tried to control but tears just wont stop flowing, i grabbed his blanket and hid my face, am most ugly when i cry and i dont want him to see me crying again and again. he held me, looked me in the eye and reminded me what he loved about me, and that's because i made him so happy, and feel that everything's worth it and that he dont want to see me cry because it breaks his heart. i love how he'd always tell me i'm smart and tell me not to give up, and even tell his folks that i'm smart (hahahaha), when i'm not.. he have so much faith in me, so much. he reminded me about contentment the other day when i was complaining and whining non stop, and that i should be counting my blessings and be contented because there is no ends to cravings. learn to enjoy simple things. he always got me into thinking about things, and see things in a different perspective. i love how he's so knowledgeable. he knows everything. 'i watched too much tv,' that's what he said, whatever the case, he've helped a lot all these while. he seems to have answers (and they makes sense) to anything i asked, and solutions to every problem i faced. then, he reminded me about our future plans (and that we're working hard together from this point of our life). our future house, our trips around the globe tgt, our kids, our adventures as husbands and wives.. and he assured me that they're all going to happen, someday, in the near future. i wiped my tears off, but started crying a few seconds after, but this time feeling so touched and that i'm contented and thankful for him. he loves me, he really do. i must've done something right to deserve him in my life.

2 comments:

K, 17. said...

awwwwww :) that's right. cheer up babe.

zhengning said...

:) thanks kris!