December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014.

so 2014's almost done. nope i didnt get married, no babies, and i didnt win the lottery LOL but there were lots of incredible moments worth remembering and celebrating. i think i have grown slightly wiser over last year, defo seeing things more clearly. i fostered new friendships, took more chances that i promised i would this time last year. disconnected with some along the way too, i guess that is life.

managed to take a trip to europe for the first time as well, took me some time to save up for it and it was totally worth it. im not as fortunate to get chances to travel as a kid, or even right now since i''m working full time, fucking hard to cough out money on my own too since i've got $28k school fees to pay for on my own, so it meant a lot to me. went to old trafford for the first time, kissed my boy right under the eiffel tower, had a fair share of gastronomical adventures in the city of love. also met minh for the first time, i first met him five years back on chatroulette, i know lol it's fucking crazy. i also took a trip to phnom penh to meet pauline, yes that's another first time, another crazy ride too. amen to spontaneity! i applaud myself for being brave, she's an online friend and everyone told me to be careful but i trusted my intuition and we had some fun times together. summer was great. it was the worldcup period, what a great tournament! i watched every single matches even if i've got work the next day, and i got closer w sean's friends, as well as my uni mates since we meet up for drinks and matches almost every other day. also ended a year long LDR and have sean back to me, we went through a lot. never thought i'm able to do this long distance shit, but i did.

the second part of the year wasnt as interesting, i was so caught up with both work and school. have to repeat again for the countless time, it's so damn tough to juggle between a full time job, part time studies, and of course, i still have a god damn life and i'm not allowing these circumstances to cut me out from my social life. meeting people and interacting with people, even if it's the most random conversations, keeps me sane from the daily shit i experience at work. so that's necessary. got a change of colleague as well, no complaints! she's the best. there were some point of time i hated my work so bad (mostly because my boss has been so difficult, and yes fucking full of shit ffs) turned things around, instead of hating on my boss... the boss has just left the company, so i guess things are indeed going my way, or rather we should all believe in karma because karma fucking bites. once again, another living proof. well, and also, thank god that my results at school are actually not too shabby.

i love december - it's my birthday month and also, it's the season of giving(and gifting) the last days have been relaxing and rather rejuvenating. been using some lie-down time over the long weekend to think about life, again. because it's always good to remind ourselves what we want and what we need to do to achieve them. i knew all along that i dont want an ordinary life - and i have to get this nailed on my head. all over. it's a horrid cycle to have that constant self defeating internal dialogues in my head sometimes, telling myself "i can never be this or that", "i can never afford this or that" lolll am i stupid or what? that's immediate sucide. definitely need to learn how to manage these thoughts in the coming year. i know im just human, but i also have big dreams. as i mentioned in my previous posts, i hope i'm able to figure my passion and bring out what's best in me to the world, because i believe i can.

also, i have been thinking about this constantly. i love traveling even though i only started traveling in 2008, i mentioned earlier that my parents were not able to take me on travels, obviously due to financial reasons. but i know instead of being all jelly that my friends are able to travel as a kid or have their trip funded by parents, i need to work hard for it and make it happen. which i did. all my trips are entirely self-funded. i'm planning to travel around the world across a few continents after graduation and all that, coming july. that one crazy baller trip. i know it sounds crazy but that is my priority now and i'll work hard for it, i want it so badly more than anything else in the world. this is right on top.

i'm excited for what's coming ahead.
bring on 2015. i'm fucking ready kick some goals.

December 29, 2014

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

i've got some photos from christmas celebrations this year to share (all snapped w the iPhone6):

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1. the one and only santa hat knitted by momsy. love handmade stuff, especially made by her.
2. i picked this place for xmas eve dinner w sean's fam. this is nosh!
3. such a praiseworthy meal, alchristmasy as well. in case i dont have time to do a seperate post, here's what went down my tummy if you're interested:
SOUP roasted pumpkin soup and french onion soup w bread gratin 
APPETIZER cod brandade. salted cod w potato and baguette. 
APPETIZER crab cakes 
MAINS turkey breast w mushroom bread pudding (so good btw) cranberry chutney, and roasted winter veg. 
DESSERT christmas pudding, with eggnog, lots of raisons and cinnamon. 
and yes, i ate all of them lol i told ya i can eat.

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4. sights from the christmas market at gardens by the bay. lovely atmosphere that is.
5. the spalliera. luminaries made and flown in from italy. so delicate.
6. lovin' the winter wonderland, here you see a bunch of people singing christmas carols.
7. btw these crown of lights' 17m tall! wowsome isnt it? easily the prettiest christmas display i've seen this year.

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8. hung out w my favorite ladies for gift exchange! always a joy to meet up with this noisy bunch.
9. another gift exchange sesh w sean's mates, tian got me something extremely useful!
10. w my sista at the alley, possibly the last time i'll see her before she leaves for spain.

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11. steamboat at marcus's! not sure if it's christmas or chinese new year hahahahaha
12. so that's our first christmas gathering! so thankful for them as my uni mates.

December 15, 2014

Everywhere you go, always take De Gea with you,

december has and will always be my favorite month of the year, except for the fact that i've got papers to sit for. thankfully it will be the last time ever i'll face exams in decemeber since i'll be done with school next july. lovely! hopefully i'll update this space with some happy photos soon, this space has been flooded with videos and all that stuff. (see how boring i person i've became?!)

went on missing for a bit as my laptop crashed, it was quite unfortunate. all the money i've saved for some wants and for my upcoming trip has went down to nothing again after purchasing a replacement laptop. needless to say, saving money was my key priority - took up a couple of event jobs and shitz, it was fucking tiring, really. juggling between a full time job, attending night classes, and now additional jobs. i dont know how, but i did it. and i've got the money i needed.

obvs the highlight last night was.... #mufc six straight wins! big dave was the difference, invincible. saving asses again and again. what would we do without de gea? no other words to describe his incredible form, the one on one saves were fantaze. take a bow ddg you're jesus. here's van persie summing up every fans feels on de gea's performance with one look:

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December 10, 2014


trying to force life to unfold faster than it is meant to is futile.

November 07, 2014


rumour has it the aussie bro can do no wrong. i need to see this man live.

November 04, 2014

Lack of passion is fatal.

i posted this quote on my ig a while ago, which was exactly what's going on w my life right now. no aim, no fire, and obviously i'm not satisfied with how i'm living my life right now. "go find your passion", "do it with passion or not at all" - two quotes that i come across so damn often but how do i even when i cant find that burning passion??! this shit has been pressurizing me and the irony is that passion should be a motivation instead of pressure. that's what i know at least. in the context of both work and school, i find myself stuck in this long term game of trial and error. defo not the best person to give any career advice at the moment because i'm basically spending majority of my waking hours working for people i dont like, a company that i dont care about and of course doing things i dont even enjoy. will still continue my education, i've got less than a year to go, so i literally dont have a choice. been slogging at work so hard just to fund my school fees so i wont be that dumb to quit, btw i dont quit things easily either. i always have huge aspirations about myself, i believe i can do more than just all of this shit work i'm doing right now. in my twenties, yet still trying to figure what i am put on this planet to do. i'm probably taking way too long than i should. i swear, when i find it, no matter what it is - i'm damn prepared to chase after it hard and go do it with all fierceness. i need to find that enthusiasm and what exactly keeps me awake and gets me up every morning, instead of drowning into misery and feeling unfulfilled about every damn thing - that's unhealthy. not gonna fall short in my expectations for myself. never. this is my life and i'm the only one in control of it, right? i hope i'll be able to discover the beauty of life again, and eventually build a life worth living.

"Life is going to throw you some major shit – so hold on. 
Keep your head above the water."

October 11, 2014

Won't you be my sunshine?

come on waste of all my precious time, your sweet smile is always on my mind, won't you be my sunshine?

thankyou spotify, thankyou fifa15 playlist. heard this one few weeks ago when i was shopping alone at h&m, oh baby loveeeee it so much i was dancing in front of the mirror i dont care, yay now i found chuuuu!!!

i've obvs lose the blogging momentum and i'm just trying to figure out this whole blogging thing again. i wont sell myself out but i do feel like just deleting a whole part of my life online, away. just like my instagram, i've removed about 200+ photos altogether gradually. i take really ugly photos, why the fuck did i post them up?! can never understand myself. can never be satisfied. but i still need a site of my own though, so i probably have to tidy up this space after my exams next week. i hate to say this, but i have to do it again: #fuckwork!!!!

Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.

October 02, 2014

Kid smoking experiment

i'm fine with smoking but this was pretty good. people actually realise how bad smoking is for them, but well it's an addiction for a reason. for those who just wanted to get free pack of cigs, "matter of fact let me have those" lol good for you.

September 23, 2014


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dined at paddington house of pancakes sometime back, had the OSLO which is smoked salmon scrambled eggs and mashed potato pancakes - super filling....... needless to say i only managed to clear them eggs and smoked salmon. we shared the minnesota (flapjacks) as well as the belgium style fries and wedges which was pretty awesome. love the quote hanging on the walls, which is one of my all time goals.

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PPP aka pre penang planning w shwen at november 8. mediocre waffles but defo great place to chill. shall upload some penang wall murals and snaps when i have the time.

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panjang people understands. the famous kkm a.k.a ke kou mian. the soup... holy. just something special about these instant noos. hehe dined w my fake cap americaaa, but ily ily ily.

so last week, i decided to sit for my first ever work related exam. i know people working in the bank and the financial industry have to take lots of papers and that's not something new, but well i procrastinated for one entire year, so i count it as a small achievement. somehow. okay, at least to make myself feel a little bit more awesome LOL. it was actually quite alright, surprisingly, given that i have no related knowledge at all. i probably should take more papers, who knows they might help me in the future.

September 09, 2014

Do not waste your time planning your future.
Experience what you have for as long as you have it.
Seize the opportunity.

September 03, 2014

If I Stay,

catching this tonight c/o hotfm once again - i think it's my third movie treat from them. but no complaints! teared up just watching the trailer, how am i going to survive the movie?

August 22, 2014

High all the time to keep you off my mind,

You're gone and I got to stay high
All the time to keep you off my mind
High all the time to keep you off my mind
Spend my days locked in a haze
Trying to forget you babe, I fall back down
Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you

ball face. very round indeed.

heading to penang tomorrow w @lishwen
we are so gonna grow some tums xxx

August 15, 2014

Nutella Stuffed Brioche French Toast

made this glorious breakfast for sean and myself last weekend, only because donal skehan mentioned that my partner will love me more and treat me well the whole weekend if i made this (hahahaha) went on to make extra portions for sean's parents *hope it works* hhaha well i think food bribery is actually effective most of the time. and check donal skehan out, he is an absolute dreamboat.

and holy shit, who doenst love nutella? fuck them calorie count.

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serves 2
2 large eggs
60ml milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
nutella, for filling 4 large slices of brioche
1 tbsp softened butter
icing sugar, for dusting

for the sweet berry sauce:
100g frozen berries
1 tbsp caster sugar

to make the sweet berry sauce, place the berries and caster sugar in a small saucepan with 50ml of water. bring the mixture to a steady simmer and cook until the berries are soft. blitz with a hand-held blender or mash with a fork.

in a large flat dish, whisk together the eggs, milk and vanilla extract. spread the nutella on each slice of brioche and then make two sandwiches.

melt the butter in a large frying pan over a medium-high heat until it is foaming. soak the brioche sandwiches in the eggs and milk and place straight in the pan to cook for 2–3 minutes on either side until golden.

remove from the pan and slice in two. place on two warmed serving plates and drizzle with the berry sauce and dust over the icing sugar.

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you could substitute the brioche away with just normal white bread or your choice of bread. but i'll recommend you to go with brioche (friends from singapore, you can get it at swissbake or tiong bahru bakery) sweet bread worked so fine.

get the full recipe here.
watch the video recipe here.

August 14, 2014

I'm high and rising,

All that you give
Is what you don't deliver
Stuck in a phase
Misguided by mistakes
Your addictive poison is dragging me down
Trying to swim out I'm stuck you're watching me drown

Lying awake
The colors all fade
From the tears on my face
I've let you slip away
I can kiss whoever, I'm wearing the crown
Time to get out my love don’t want you cause now

I'm high and rising
Alive now, I'm fine cause I let you go

Three things,

1. sean got me the prettiest statement necklace ever form primark in the uk, defo the prettiest necklace i own right now:
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oh you beauty...

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2. the people from the ordinary co. were so generous to send me the miranda bib necklace, which was super exquisite and incredibly eye catching. love how these makes a basic outfit more glamorous in a sense.

3. grubbed on some grub at grub (GRUBBING MUCH) with lishwen three weeks back. grub is located at amk (bishan park) go google it! im not a food blogger, nor the am i google mapz. people write much better reviews too. google is always a friend.
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mushroom pasta for me, chicken thigh burger for her. we went on to order the churros which was their most popular item on menu. i find it super sweet, and.... oily. but not bad to chew on. also, i dont frequent this side of singapore at all. so not convenient for me when i dont get to drive. the last time i remember being in amk all the time was during internship and it was a nightmare for me. i wrote so much about my internship all day because it was haunting me literally. never want to be back at that position ever again.

August 12, 2014

Prince of Juve x

marchisio, vidal and pirlo will be here for singapore selection vs juventus this weekend, HOLY MARCHISIO... well singapore is already so fucking hot and they just have to make it hotter hehe. still bummed over the fact that i wont be catching the match (kill me, someone just please) but i already had surprises planned for my boy this weekend, and i'm excited for it hehe

quick fix the other day, or rather every other day:
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mashed avo w toast. i love my avos with a little lemon or lime juice, with a lot of cracked pepper. and yes i love avos so much i can have them every single day.

August 08, 2014

Life ain’t nothing but a crazy dance,

it's 9th of august tomorrow so, i thought this would be appropriate photo to post:
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taken at the sail @ marina bay sometime ago at ma's birthday. though sometimes i wonder why am i stuck in a rut, and always want to try to break out of my mundane life here - it's actually pretty amazing living in singapore. look at our skyline, im always proud to call myself a singaporean.

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and this one's for fourth of july. made a point to dress up in red and blue. junn got me that bracelet from turkey, which was appropriate too hahaha. of course, i posted something on instagram for bastille day too. how would i not? cant wait to visit france again. neways i dont think im the only one who loves bulging veins. especially when guys have them, oh my... yes.

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with my favorite girls. six years and counting.

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burger vs wings + bar for bestie's birthday. the queue was crazy, we couldnt get a table because there was six of us. i went ahead with the shredded beef and bacon barnburger, the runny poached egg was seducing me all the while so i couldnt say no to it. and sure enough, it worked so well with the beef and bacon. i dont even know what are calories any more.

Burgers Vs Wings + Bar
Orchard Central
181 Orchard Road

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the chop house with khai, quite a while ago. in fact i think this was the first quarter back this year. wow miss you khai. as usual im always searching for the best #handmodel HAHAHA alrighty been so long since we last hung out though. 

The Chop House
1 Harbourfront Walk
Vivocity (Harbourfront MRT)

after work drinking sesh at five izakaya,
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work just sucks most of the time, i get why working adults go drinking so often. well but i feel really blessed to have tavia with me at work, she's defo one of the nicest person around. xx cant imagine how work would be like without her. as if i have not been swearing enough...haha

August 06, 2014

Donal & Simone Q&A

guys please go catch the guardians of the galaxy, it's so hilarious it's so good!! rocket raccoon's so lovable ahhhhh. finally done with year two today, the paper was awful as shit, but at least i'm done with it for now. i hate to feel stupid though. in fact, some nights i just feel worthless, and i feel sad for no reasons. much frustrating, very annoying.

also, i have a carousell account, i havent said this on twitter or ig or anywhere yet, but whoever's reading, if you are keen, search "okjacqui" that's me (ahahah dont ask why) might just change my user one day.

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#cheapthrill but donal skehan answered my question! you can view his Q&A here, it's hilarious how simone and donal pronounce my name zomg. go go go 1:20!!!!  (and im not like a ginseng hahaha)

July 27, 2014

Soft skinned covered shells,

Late night stories

Running naked, cutting through the breeze
Kissing your eyes
Walking onto our friends
Catching stars and seas
Presses up to me
Whispers “Take me”
Soft skinned covered shells
And the taste of bells
To the atmos-greet

July 24, 2014


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them eyes. (tell me again why do i love spaniards?)
this guy bossed the midfield this morning, so happy watching him play :')

met yilin for lunch today, everywhere's crowded at cbd during lunch time. cant believe i have survived a little more than nine months already wowww. might do a cbd lunch edition post. 'might' is the key word hahaha pretty keen to do a #zncbdlunch version though, might need some time to reorganize my folders and shit.

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1) munch saladsmith (one raffles place)
2) flatwhite from strangers' at work (the arcade)
3) aussie roll (chevron's house) - YOU MAI YUMMO LOVE
4) salmon lunch w ying and ming at i-dont-remember-where-at-china-square. i'll find out next week.
5) pesto pasta w wenshit at orchard gateway. cant get enough of pesto.

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and of course, a shameless selfie. mouthie. smil-fie. whatever.

i love how this post's so..... vibrant.

July 23, 2014

5ive more days.

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sending sean off at the airport. this was one year ago.

"the most important thing to go forward in a long distance relationship is to know that the distance will end sooner or later, so you can be together."
we havent skyped for a month since you have been traveling non stop (and i'm so fucking jealoussss) i hate being so far from you though i know you're probably having the time of your life. would absolutely kill to see you right now - to be held by you, to hug you for a long time, to get a kiss. i miss you so much. days like that where i really just fucking miss you but i cant do anything about it, different time zones and tight budget restricted me to do so. it's just not the same without you around. fuckkk. im so happy that it's finally down to five days. five days more and i can officially put skype chats and virtual dates with my man to an end. i just want to do crazy things with you.

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you are everything to me. we just fit.

A smile, a greeting, a happy face ..

At the transfer desk, I get two football fanatics, one is checked in and the other not, "can you check me in Love". They were not seated next to each other in the business compartment , "would you like to sit together sir?" Any doubt,, I want a few hours of rest joked the other one. ‘’cheers’’

A loving family of six with their 10 pieces luggage that I had to put in the system. "After long time we're returning home"

It was busy at the check in desk, so I went there to help my colleagues.

A child smiling and waving at me.

They thank me for my help so she could sit together. excited children "mom when do we see our luggage again?"

The crew running towards me waving and signaling. They were ready to drop their luggage at the baggage belt.

A man who is about to start a new life in Malaysia.

A family get dropped off by their grandparents, kids first holiday far away.

Grandma makes photos of how her children and grand children check in. This time I do not mind that I am in the picture.

Arriving at the gate G03 a young man asked if he has time to buy something quickly. "Of course, sir, if you only ensures that you are back here at 1130."

My colleague helps an elderly woman inside, all the way to her seat in row 21, she had difficulty walking and traveling alone. The lady had the same name (one letter difference) as the son of my colleague and said that she would remembered the name.

I appeal to everyone to go to the toilet before they enter the gate because there are no toilet facilities at gate G03. A few passengers went back out of the line.

A woman traveling with her husband and her mother still asks her mother a few times if she had to go to the toilet, the elderly lady has a bladder problem. I allowed them to wait outside and they can come inside the priority line when their ready.

A newly married couple, on the way to their honeymoon.

A beautiful little girl hold by her mother, her father behind them pushing the stroller. What is she beautiful, a half Dutch half Malaysian with beautiful big eyes. She kindly smiled at me.

A man who could still join the flight to be on time for the funeral of his mother.

Grandchildren traveling with their grandparents.

Suddenly I see a familiar face, it is our colleague from the MH ticket counter

He proudly shows me his son, wife and daughter. With a big smile he waved "See you soon"

A woman wants to go out of the gate to use the toilet, unfortunately, we have already begun boarding and nobody can go out. "May I board first then?" of course.

I walk quickly along with the last two passengers who may eventually join the flight, and what are they happy ...

A final farewell to the crew, till next time!

And then we removed the bridge.

Passengers traveling for business, on the way home, on the way to family, on the way to their holiday, on the way to a new beginning ...

Group travel, families, couples, individuals, infants, children, grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, partners, uncles, aunts, colleagues, friends, neighbors, acquaintances.

The last time I saw them, talked to them and wish them a pleasant flight the passengers of flight MH017 on the 17th of Jul 2014.

One last smile, one last salute, a happy face ...

+ Rest in peace dear passengers & crew +

On behalf of the ground handling agents of flight MH017 on Thursday 17-07-2014

completely soaked w tears at work reading this, i know im not the only one affected by this. in fact the whole world is mourning, this is a tragedy. so cruel. reminds us not to take our days and each other for granted. we never know that last smile shared, could be the final moment shared ever. may they rest in peace.
this is also why i make it a point to say 'see you' or 'see you again', instead of goodbye. fuck.
and for the nth time, please go fuck yourself russia.

July 22, 2014

A short.

hi guys, i havent been well at all lately. working woes struck hard. i would love to just sleep away with it, but it gets to me some point of time i just want to let it all out at someone, i can just go on and on. urgh, need to learn how to tolerate better. school hasnt been great either, trying to cope well with these two. also have been deleting a lot of photos from my ig, i think close to hundred and fifty along the way. i post too much nonsense sometimes.

some serious throwback sesh again:
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1) i was at real food. the outlet at central. had me some genovese pesto pasta, which is actualy organic pasta tossed w homemade garlic pesto, grilled courgettes olives, and crumbled boiled potatoes, topped w feta cheese and fresh basil leaves. this is so delish!!

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2) poulet w my favorite girls.

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3) WATAMI date w eunice. i always go back to watami when i dont know what to eat.. hahaha cheap thrill but i like how watami reminds me of 'wa(me in hokkien)-tummy' maybe that's why i go back again and again to fix my fussy tums.

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4) chicken up and catch up sesh w V!!! we overordered (2sets of chix, fries, kimchi fried rice...) the chix were not bad at all. first time trying the watermelon soju though, maybe i was expecting more. so good to catch up w her after so long x

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5) bought some cupcakes to giveaway, these are from cher's cupcakes. i try my best to surprise my loved ones. but no one's free for me mehhhhh. flavors: best of both worlds (pb and nutella), cookie monster, strawberry soiree, chocolate wsated.

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6) eggs&berries with weijie, better known as serious carbs overload sesh. we had pancakes, rost, steak, egg ben, milkshakes, we had desserts too. we are so fattttt omgosh hahaha

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7) ending this streak w some local food. i love you stingrayyyyyy. i love hawker food, i mean as much as i love eating cafe food, im still a true blue singaporean girl deep down. nothing can replace my loveeeee you local food especially meehoonkway, fried carrot cake, and wanton meee.