December 31, 2014

Goodbye 2014.

so 2014's almost done. nope i didnt get married, no babies, and i didnt win the lottery LOL but there were lots of incredible moments worth remembering and celebrating. i think i have grown slightly wiser over last year, defo seeing things more clearly. i fostered new friendships, took more chances that i promised i would this time last year. disconnected with some along the way too, i guess that is life.

managed to take a trip to europe for the first time as well, took me some time to save up for it and it was totally worth it. im not as fortunate to get chances to travel as a kid, or even right now since i''m working full time, fucking hard to cough out money on my own too since i've got $28k school fees to pay for on my own, so it meant a lot to me. went to old trafford for the first time, kissed my boy right under the eiffel tower, had a fair share of gastronomical adventures in the city of love. also met minh for the first time, i first met him five years back on chatroulette, i know lol it's fucking crazy. i also took a trip to phnom penh to meet pauline, yes that's another first time, another crazy ride too. amen to spontaneity! i applaud myself for being brave, she's an online friend and everyone told me to be careful but i trusted my intuition and we had some fun times together. summer was great. it was the worldcup period, what a great tournament! i watched every single matches even if i've got work the next day, and i got closer w sean's friends, as well as my uni mates since we meet up for drinks and matches almost every other day. also ended a year long LDR and have sean back to me, we went through a lot. never thought i'm able to do this long distance shit, but i did.

the second part of the year wasnt as interesting, i was so caught up with both work and school. have to repeat again for the countless time, it's so damn tough to juggle between a full time job, part time studies, and of course, i still have a god damn life and i'm not allowing these circumstances to cut me out from my social life. meeting people and interacting with people, even if it's the most random conversations, keeps me sane from the daily shit i experience at work. so that's necessary. got a change of colleague as well, no complaints! she's the best. there were some point of time i hated my work so bad (mostly because my boss has been so difficult, and yes fucking full of shit ffs) turned things around, instead of hating on my boss... the boss has just left the company, so i guess things are indeed going my way, or rather we should all believe in karma because karma fucking bites. once again, another living proof. well, and also, thank god that my results at school are actually not too shabby.

i love december - it's my birthday month and also, it's the season of giving(and gifting) the last days have been relaxing and rather rejuvenating. been using some lie-down time over the long weekend to think about life, again. because it's always good to remind ourselves what we want and what we need to do to achieve them. i knew all along that i dont want an ordinary life - and i have to get this nailed on my head. all over. it's a horrid cycle to have that constant self defeating internal dialogues in my head sometimes, telling myself "i can never be this or that", "i can never afford this or that" lolll am i stupid or what? that's immediate sucide. definitely need to learn how to manage these thoughts in the coming year. i know im just human, but i also have big dreams. as i mentioned in my previous posts, i hope i'm able to figure my passion and bring out what's best in me to the world, because i believe i can.

also, i have been thinking about this constantly. i love traveling even though i only started traveling in 2008, i mentioned earlier that my parents were not able to take me on travels, obviously due to financial reasons. but i know instead of being all jelly that my friends are able to travel as a kid or have their trip funded by parents, i need to work hard for it and make it happen. which i did. all my trips are entirely self-funded. i'm planning to travel around the world across a few continents after graduation and all that, coming july. that one crazy baller trip. i know it sounds crazy but that is my priority now and i'll work hard for it, i want it so badly more than anything else in the world. this is right on top.

i'm excited for what's coming ahead.
bring on 2015. i'm fucking ready kick some goals.

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